It’s rare to find couples that don’t run into bumps in their relationship. Relationship problems shouldn’t be seen as the road to separation or divorce. When partners recognize issues with their relationship ahead in time, they can resolve them before things get out of hand. It is important to learn how to get past the problems to keep your love going. Having occasional conflicts shouldn’t be overlooked because the same lousy situations can become part of everyday life. If you feel like your relationship if having its version of Groundhog Day movie, you would better take it seriously to break free from the toxic routine you are going through.
There are strategies that can help partners solve conflicts whenever they arise. If you are arguing over an issue, make it more civil and do it in a helpful manner. In an argument, you need to realize that you aren’t a victim, it’s a choice you take depending on whether you react to the argument or not and if you do, how you react plays a big part in fueling or calming down things.
An important thing to remember is that you have to be honest with yourself. The comments you make in an argument should work toward resolving the conflict and not looking for payback. When you begin to make comments that are blaming and hurting, you are being dishonest with yourself, you would better take a deep breath then look at the situation differently. A little shift in the way you respond to your partner in an argument can make a big difference, otherwise, when you continue responding in such a way that you bring pain and unhappiness, you aren’t solving things out.
For instance, when your partner is presenting his or her point in an argument, don’t jump right in and start defending yourself. You may want to listen to him or her, and this way, it will change the tone of the argument. If you are wrong, apologize. Remember that you cannot control your partner’s behavior but yours. If your conflicts are taking away the pleasures and joy you have built in your relationship, you can talk to Lisa Schmude LMFT. She can help you change things when a relationship is ailing.