The Five Stages of Grief and Loss
When Were the Five Stages Discovered?
We all grieve differently and handle our emotions in different ways. However, there have been stated to be five stages of grief. They were first stated by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross in 1969 in her book titled “On Death and Dying.”
While the stages are called the five stages , they are listed in no particular order. Many times people stay at one stage for a long time before accepting the peace of a death. Some people go through the stages faster and come to terms with a death. There is no right or wrong way. It is also to be noted that grieving does not have to be of just a loved one. We can grieve our own terminal illness, a loved one, or even a loved pet.
The Five Stages:
- Denial and Isolation: This is commonly one of the first reactions people move towards. It is typically a state of shock or an “I cannot believe this is happening” state of mind.
- Anger: Many times when one dies, or when we ourselves are diagnosed with an illness, we tend to get upset. For example, some people become angry when an innocent child has passed away. We may express our anger at ourselves, at other people, or even strangers. We may not mean to be rude to others or take it out on other people.
- Bargaining: This stage is often noted as the stage where people say “if only I had done this better” or “if only I’d known sooner.”
- Depression: This stage is often accompanied by feeling lonely and simply sad. In this stage, people tend to pull away from others and their hobbies.
- Acceptance: This stage takes time to achieve. Losing someone and coping with that loss is always a unique experience for everyone. There is no set time on how long some grieve before they come to acceptance.
Remember, losing someone is not an easy thing to go through or something one has to go through alone. Therapy can help us cope with the loss of someone and help us sort out our emotions.